My husband and I just finished renovating our kitchen. We’ve lived in this house for 15 years and it was finally time to get rid of the green Formica counter and broken cabinets. We did a lot of the work ourselves, mostly because of the ongoing difficulty in finding anyone who could do the work. Not something I want to do again, if ever! For the last 2 months, I did dishes in the bathtub and racked up lots of steps running back and forth to get water, drain pasta and whatever else I used to do right in my kitchen. I’m thankful I have a guest bathroom near-ish to the kitchen, but it was miserable! My husband commented that I seemed depressed. And I was. I love to cook and bake and the kitchen is my happy place.  In the scheme of things, this was a minor inconvenience. But it had an effect on me because a source of my happiness, being able to cook and create in my kitchen, was affected. Now, it’s all done and I am thrilled. I love how the kitchen turned out and being able to cook without obstacles brings me joy.  And I’m proud of all the work we put into this project. I started to think about where my focus was for those last 2 months…the anticipation, the delays, the difficulties, the obstacles. All the waiting for something that would make me happy.  Think about that for a minute…where in your life are you waiting to be happy?  How often have you said “I’ll be happy when…”? And how do you define happiness? Is happiness only the big, grand life events? The happily ever after?

The experience with my kitchen is one of those moments that I just wanted to get to the other side of. My house was beyond disorganized, my countertops were pieces of plywood, and I had no running water. I experienced disappointment, discomfort and frustration.  Now that I am on the other side of it, I can see there were also moments of happiness.  Moments I wasn’t aware of because I focused on the difficulties. For example, when I emptied my cabinets, I found the milk frother I thought I threw away years ago and started making cold foam for my coffee every morning. My husband took me out for date night many times, rather than having me try and cook every night in a construction zone. These are tiny, little things, but they put a smile on my face and lightened my heart. And I think that’s where happiness truly lies.

This experience led to me rethinking my definition of happiness. It’s not something that comes later, a reward for doing all the hard work. It can’t be something that comes later because later may never come. I’ve known so many people who waited their whole lives to retire to start living and doing things that made them happy. Some waited too long. There will never be a life with no struggles, no negativity, no pain. Life will always have both positive and negative aspects. Happiness is not a destination.

Find the little moments in each day that lift your heart, just a little. That make you smile, just a little. Notice those moments, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Because that is happiness.